Pizza and Peas
by ScaryBones
Summary: Stan's cooking tonight! Cartman helps him choose what to make. Stanman! For AnimeMixDJ, cuz she always reviews my stories and I've been wanting to make her one for a while! n n


**A Stanman one-shot to satisfy all those StanxCartman fans out there! (n_n)**

**Cartman's POV**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked. I had just walked into Stan's house, expecting him to be happy to see me.

Instead, he was in the kitchen, a pissed off look on his face, peeling potatoes. And he had on an apron. A _pink_ apron.

"What does it_ look _like I'm doing?" he asked me, throwing the peels into the trash bag next to him. He got up from where he was sitting, grabbing the peeled potatoes in his apron and dumping them into a pot.

"It looks like you're not happy I'm here."

He gave me a look, shaking his head. "I'm just pissed off, okay?"

"Alright, don't get bitchy." I sat down where he was just peeling potatoes and watched as he added water to them, putting them on the stove. "Why _are_ you pissed off?"

"My stupid sister ran off with her boyfriend," he said, slamming the lid on the pot. "So my mom got all bitchy and refused to cook."

"Then why are _you_ making it?" I asked.

"My fucking dad," he replied. "He got mad that Mom wasn't cooking and took it out on me."

Stan started wiping the counters off, even though they were clean.

"So he's making me do it."

I sat there, watching as he fussed around in the kitchen, slamming cupboards and looking for stuff on the fridge.

"What are you making, then?" At this, Stan turned around and glared at me.

"Cartman, you're not making my mood any better."

"Calm down, babe." I stood, walking over to him and putting an around around his waist. "Just take it easy; you look like Kyle during finals."

This got him to smile a little, but it wasn't enough to lift his mood. "I'm still pissed off."

"Fine, why don't I help you?" I offered, even though I really didn't feel like cooking.

"Would you really?" he asked, sounding more cheery.

"I guess," I replied. "God, the things I do for you. I expect to be paid back. Sometime tonight, maybe?"

"Ha ha, nice try," he said. Stan was still a virgin, damnit, and refused to sleep with me. We'd gotten pretty close a couple times, but then he'd stop, leaving me unsatified, and making me find my own way to release.

"Come on, I've been waiting for months, no, _years_, to fuck you."

"Cartman!" he cried.

"Ah, come on, don't get all embarrassed."

"Are you going to help me cook or not?" he asked, putting a can of peas into my hands. "That needs to be opened and put in a pot."

"I hate you," I said, giving his ass a tap as he walked away, to show him who was boss. He ignored me, pretending to check on the potatoes.

I started on the peas, struggling with the can opener for a while before throwing it in the sink, settling with a knife to open the stupid can.

Stan sighed when he saw what I was doing, but didn't say anything.

"Shit, I don't know what else to make," he said, running his hands through his dark hair.

"What about the meat?" I asked. He gave me a look like I killed his mother or something.

"I'm vegetarian," he reminded me.

"So? You won't_ eat _the meat."

"I'm not touching it," he continued. "It's not going in_ this _meal, either, so forget about it."

"Gah, you're so difficult!"

He smiled at this, which made me roll my eyes.

"Well, then I guess you'll only have potaotes and peas," I said, shoving the pot of said peas onto the stove.

"Guess so."

"I hate you, Stan."

"Then why do you always try to get in my pants?" he teased, going to the fridge. "Ugh, I need to find something else to go with dinner. My dad will freak if I only make stupid peas and potatoes."

"Just order pizza or something."

He paused, hand on the door of the fridge. "Well, that doesn't sound bad, actually."

"See? I'm a freaking genius. You should consider yourself lucky that you're dating me."

"Yes, of course," he muttered. "Now watch the food while I go order."

"Ey! What do you think I am, a slave?" He didn't answer, only flashed a cheeky smile at me and left the room.

I better get dessert.


End file.
